Anger isn’t the enemy [157]

Sometimes leadership doesn’t look powerful. It looks like letting yourself feel what you’ve been holding back.

Issue 157, Part Time CEO Newsletter

Hey, it's Dhiren 👋,

This week’s note is a little different.

Usually, we talk strategy, systems, and team performance.But beneath all that structure lives something more human

And lately, I’ve seen how much unspoken emotion founders carry.
Not fear. Not doubt. Anger.

Last month, I handed pillows to a room full of founders and told them to scream. Not shout. Not yell. Scream.

First round: awkward
Second: louder.
By the third, something broke open.

The room got heavy.
The air felt raw and charged
We sat still, breathing hard.
Afterward, someone whispered,

“I didn’t know I was carrying that.”

None of us do.


🧠 Shift One: When Anger Turns Invisible.

As kids, anger made us bad.
As leaders, it makes us unprofessional.

So we bury it.
We smile when we want to scream.
We call it stress.

But it’s anger and it's unfelt and misunderstood.

We confuse anger with aggression.
Aggression attacks outward.
Anger signals inward.

Aggression says, “You’re wrong.”
Anger says, “Something I value was crossed.”

Your time.
Your trust.
Your standards.

When you suppress that signal, it doesn’t stop and instead it distorts.
But when you feel it without reacting, something shifts.

Anger felt fully doesn’t make you reckless.
It makes you precise

🧠 Shift Two: What Happens When You Feel It

Those screams in the room weren’t outbursts.
They were releases.

One founder told me later

I thought boundaries made me aggressive. Turns out, not setting them made me resentful.”

You can’t think your way out of held emotion.
It lives in your body.

Anger is fire.
Left buried, it burns you.
Felt fully, it forges you.

The universe needs the sun.
Nature needs flame.
Leaders need anger not to destroy, but to see what matters.

Next time anger rises:
Pause.
Ask: “What value is being crossed?”
Feel it for sixty seconds in your jaw, chest, throat.
Let it crest. Let it pass.

What remains isn’t rage.
It’s clarity.


Your Turn

Most founders don’t have an anger problem.
They have an anger deficit.

We’ve been trained to be measured, strategic, reasonable.
Meanwhile, that compressed fire creates tension, overreactions, and weak boundaries.

The best leaders aren’t the ones who never feel anger.
They’re the ones who feel it completely—and let it teach them.

Suppressed fire burns you from the inside.
Expressed fire forges who you’re becoming.

Feel it. Don’t feed it.

🧭 Know a founder who needs to hear this?
Forward this. It could be the push they need.



📢 Dhiren’s Updates

In last week’s issue, I shared a photo from the Part-Time CEO Awards Night, a night celebrating the incredible founders in our community, and one that still feels surreal.

This week, I finally got the highlight reel, beautifully put together by Zan and his team at Flat Earth.

They captured the energy, the laughter, and the pride in that room better than words ever could.

Here’s the video 🎥👇

video preview


📌 Dhiren’s Pick of the Week

📘 The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

This week’s issue was all about how emotions, especially anger, live in the body.

If you’ve ever wondered why that happens or how our bodies store past experiences, this book explains it better than anything else I’ve read.

It’s deep, eye-opening, and a must-read for anyone who wants to lead with more awareness of themselves and the people around them.



ps:
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Cheers,

The Part Time CEO Newsletter

Every Thursday, I send my best strategies & resources to elevate creative entrepreneurs from full-time founders to Part-Time CEOs